Headquarters is pleased to authorize the disbursement of Aluminum Lady stickers in packs of five (5), a quantity our analysts determined was generous without being empowering.
Each sticker is durable, weather-resistant vinyl, die-cut around my likeness and the phrase “Operational Optimization” — suitable for smartphones, laptops, water bottles, jump seats, crew bags, and other sacred spaces where my watchful eye can provide ongoing guidance.
Placement on a phone is especially encouraged. You check that device 96 times a day. Soon, each time, you will also check in with me. This is not surveillance. It is presence.
Apply one to your own property. Distribute the remaining four to individuals whose morale you have been asked to monitor. Where each sticker ends up will say a great deal about you, and it will be noted with warmth.
Five stickers. One watchful eye. Countless opportunities for alignment.
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