Re: Suspicious Sick Call Investigations

A Leadership Memo from The Aluminum Lady

Dear Airline Family,

You may have seen some conversation about our exciting new attendance review initiative, and I want to begin by offering reassurance.

This is not surveillance.

This is care with a spreadsheet.

As always, your health and safety remain our top priority, especially when we are saying that publicly. We believe deeply in crew wellbeing, operational stability, and the delicate art of making both of those phrases work in the same sentence while prioritizing profitability.

Our new automated review process is designed to examine general sick call patterns in a fair, consistent, and deeply suspicious manner. It does not assume wrongdoing. It simply gathers dates, compares trends, detects patterns, assigns meaning, creates concern, initiates follow-up, and then allows leadership to explore whether your immune system has been acting in bad faith.

That is not an investigation.

That is alignment.

We understand that some team members may feel uneasy knowing their sick calls could be reviewed for possible misuse. Please know there is absolutely no need for concern unless your illness has occurred near a weekend, holiday, high-demand travel period, inconvenient staffing window, or any other moment when your body’s choices created a business challenge.

In those cases, we may schedule a confidential conversation.

These conversations are not disciplinary in nature. They are respectful opportunities for you to explain why your body failed to consider the network.

At our airline, we trust our people completely. And because we trust you, we have invested in a system that verifies whether that trust was a strategic error.

Some have suggested this program is profit-driven. That is an unfortunate oversimplification. The program is also margin-conscious, productivity-supportive, absence-resistant, and designed to protect the overall health of the company.

And the company’s health matters too.

After all, when a flight attendant calls in sick, the impact is felt across the operation. Trips must be covered. Staffing must be adjusted. Managers must receive emails. Executives may be briefly made aware of a human issue. This creates unnecessary friction in an otherwise beautiful business model.

We want to be very clear: we would never question your integrity.

We would simply like you to provide enough documentation, explanation, pattern awareness, emotional composure, and scheduling accountability to help us not question your integrity.

That is fairness.

That is consistency.

That is leadership.

We also want to remind everyone that wellbeing remains central to our values. In moments of turbulence, delays, irregular operations, staffing strain, emotional exhaustion, respiratory illness, burnout, or the general collapse of the human spirit, we encourage you to take care of yourself in a way that does not become statistically noticeable.

Because while your health is important, predictability is also important.

And profitability is wellness at scale.

So moving forward, please continue to use sick time appropriately, responsibly, and with full awareness that a neutral automated system may later reinterpret your fever as a pattern, your migraine as a trend, and your recovery as a potential operational concern.

We appreciate everything you do.

We value your dedication.

We support your wellbeing.

And we remain committed to ensuring that every sick call receives the thoughtful, private, algorithmic suspicion it deserves.

With Loving Care,
The Aluminum Lady 💋❤️✈️

P.S. Please do not call Morgan & Morgan.